BRAVERY NEEDED WHEN FACED WITH MEDICAL TEST FINDINGS

One of the characteristics of modern life is the enormous amount of information we all have access to and specifically the great volume of information we have access to about ourselves and our health. In medicine, for example, sophisticated scanning devices exist that look inside the body and provide complex information on how our insides look and how all our many parts and regions are functioning.

I am referring specifically to medical scanning technology, the offspring of the original non-invasive method to look inside the body, which is still with us today, known as the X-Ray. These offspring techniques have names like MRI for magnetic resonance imaging, CAT or CAT scan for computer-aided tomography, and PET or PET scan for positron emission tomography.

Scans May Scare Us

Miracle techniques, right? Without them the early detection of most forms of cancer would be almost impossible, as would an effective method of tracking the patient after treatments like surgery or chemotherapy. Yes, great techniques, but they are also great sources of worry. The information from medical scanning technology gives us a great deal more to think about in this information-loaded anxiety-ridden world.

Why? First because scanning technology provides data including images that must be interpreted by human beings with titles like radiologist or oncologist. These specialists may not interpret the data correctly. Even when the interpretation is dead on perfect, it is almost always more about suspicions rather than certainties. Scans are rarely ends in themselves. A slew of follow-up procedures are required.

CAT and PET Findings

An example, please! In an earlier posting to Mind Check, I revealed my personal history with cancer and specifically with mantel cell B lymphoma and with thyroid cancer. As I noted then, a diagnosis of mantel cell B lymphoma is not a particularly good one, but the fact that I have gone well over six years since my initial detection and over five years since my bone marrow transplant at Johns Hopkins Hospital is grounds for considerable celebration and grounds for encouragement.

Because of my medical history, I now submit to twice yearly CAT scans. Unfortunately, my last scan revealed something suspicious, specifically a lymph node measuring a little more than 2 centimeters by a little more than 1 centimeter, and I am now in the midst of trying to find out what this little thing is. In fact, as of this writing, I have not just had a CAT scan but also a PET scan, the latter a technique relying on nuclear technology, specifically an infusion of radioactive sugar, to measure metabolism or glucose intake in specific regions of the body.

Good News and Not So Good

The second scan led to the news that no other area in my body showed anything suspicious including no vital organs. Good news, yes? Nonetheless what is to be done about the suspicious lymph node, albeit quite a small one? It should be noted that between the initial CAT scan and the PET scan, a small increase in the size of the node was detected, and the PET scan revealed higher than normal activity in the node, a possible indication of cancer.

Now what do I do? Should I ignore the little thing until it gets a lot bigger? The oncologist I’m seeing wants me to consult with a surgeon about having the lymph node removed using a laparoscope and to do it now. Laparoscopic surgery is minimally invasive and entails the shortest possible recovery time. The removed node would then be put under the microscope for positive identification. Should it prove lymphomic, I’ll confront a new set of options.

Realism and Bravery Needed

A lot to think about and a lot of potential for worry. The thought that I have been down this road before and survived is helpful, but I also know that I must be realistic and I must be brave. We do not live forever. That is a given for all of us. Something has got to kill each one of us.

The fact is that I love life, and that encourages me to keep on fighting. At the same time, as I wrote in a previous posting, I see no benefit in dwelling on my mortality. I see no benefit in allowing worry to take over my life. The meditation practice I am engaged in and which I discussed in still another posting is very helpful at times like these, for it helps me to attain mind control and to experience some peace of mind. Specifically I have been a practitioner for several months of the methods taught by Eknath Easwaran and his Blue Mountain School of Meditation.

One of my blessings as a human being is that I have a lot of interests and a fundamental interest in what is going on inside my head at any given moment. These interests help to sustain me during difficult times. The concern of my wife and family and friends also sustain me, and I am also very grateful for that.

ABOUT MIND CHECK

Thank you for tuning into Mind Check, a biweekly effort to prove that we are what we think and that clear thinking leads to effective action and to a better world. Mind Check is intended to serve as a bridge between the realm of the human spirit, that center of our energy, mental and physical, and our rationality or reason, of which the scientific method is an excellent example. Mind Check is also intended to prove that the ideas of right and wrong are innate, not exclusively inherent in the situation or the whim of the moment.

To communicate with the author of Mind Check, please write to stephen.saft@gmail.com. For examples of the writer’s other writings, see the website http://www.iwillmeanpoetry.com. The author is also preparing to launch a site of podcasts consisting of spoken poetry, essays and short stories. Be on the look out for it.

Copyright © 2007 by Stephen Alan Saft